The way to solve all relationship problems

There are five types of fire (agani) in our system and one of them is the fire of criticism, the fire of disagreement. Some of you criticized that I have biased opinions on politics and some concluded that I should not have opinions at all. I am an opinionated person and criticism doesn’t deter my enthusiam or faith in what I do or what I want to do. I look at criticism the way I look at art (good/bad/critical). I do not read it like history or science (dig into its past, or dissect it). I encourage disagreement in a healthy atmosphere.

Disagreement is the word, which leads to cracks and demolition of relationships. When love grows in you the amount of disturbance with a negative answer can also grow, because in love, we want people around us to be perfect. In the name of love we try to manipulate and control the other person.

I remember the days when volunteering on streets I would hear a ‘no’ from people for doing our courses, it would disturb me a lot. Also when after the course students didn’t do the kriya and they have the most irrelevant and petty reasons not worth touching your tympanic glands too, but if you are not disturbed and still can maintain your calm, then they will listen to you. Once Guruji said “Usually we get stuck in our differences, because we have lost sight of ourselves.”

Disagreements produce a fire that usually engulfs a relationship. When two mature, intelligent people are together they are together to find harmony in their diverse behaviour and learn and enjoy the differences. Someone had asked Guruji once “Who is a perfect person?”. Rapt came the answer “One who can accept imperfection around him.” Disagreements help us to learn different viewpoints and give us the skill to convince or humility to get convinced. In a true Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam let us agree to disagree.

This Post Has 16 Comments

  1. abhishek dawar

    bhaiya awesome one!!!!
    just loved it!!!!
    u rock!!!!!!
    love ya!!1

  2. Srikant Singh

    once again Amazingly Excellent post:))

  3. bhawana

    ** you are not disturbed and still can maintain your calm, then they will listen to you.

    Exactly and also
    when I want to “correct” someone’s mistake(s) because it bothers me…That is when it will not work…
    I need to correct their mistakes only because its not good for them 🙂

    Jai Gurudev

  4. Krati Rokadiya

    jgd bhaiya,
    whether people criticize ur opinion,but its an OPINION ,and evrybody has there own opinion but apart from this each n evry student of urs have a unanimous opinion that u r a GREAT!! GREAT!! GREAT Teacher
    and each n evry person reading this blog have a unanimous opinion that u r a GREAT!! GREAT!! GREAT writer………….

  5. manchit

    JGD bhaiya….
    wonderfulllyy true…

  6. K.S. Bais

    How very true! Guruji says the same in his book: The Ahorisms of Love, First Chapter – A bridge to the Divine.

    If u can remain calm in any situation, u can achieve what you want. Remaining calm in all situations is something which is possible only with you.

    Jgd,

  7. Ruchi

    The flowers are as beutiful as the offer to disagree with calmness 🙂

  8. Abhishek

    hi bhaiyya….dunno if i’ve mentioned this before but somehow your posts seem to be so directly related to my ongoing experiences in life that it surprises me. It’s also happened with me more than once that i’ve a doubt about something and before i could talk to u bat it u’ve posted something abt it

    I liked what u said abt the openness to disagreements in healthy atmosphere. And like always I admire the spontaneity with which Guruji give a perfect answer to the questions.

  9. suvigya

    so thoughtfull…
    it gave a perfect insight to relationship prob…

  10. Himani

    What an intellectual depth! What an emotional touch!
    A highly profound write up

  11. Sonika

    Sir its very nice to listen but i dnt knw even aftr i attend this utsav my hesitation is a it was before joining, i have just this choice to tell u my problem, reply if u gt time, if u can help me in removing my hesitation thanks sir……………

  12. Amol

    JAI GURUDEV BHAIYYA 🙂 IT IS A WONDERFUL DESCRIPTION ABOUT A PROBLEM WHICH HITS LIKE A MOUNTAIN AT TIMES… BUT AFTER READING YOUR VIEWS… IT HAS TURNED INTO A WONDERFUL GARLAND THAT SHOULD BE ACCEPTED GRACEFULLY.. . THANK YOU BHAIYYA 🙂 JGD 🙂

  13. Priti

    Jai Gurudev Bhaiyya, i was having a question in my heart …n u answered it through this blog…..this one is amzaing n a awesome one bhaiyya

  14. Meghana

    Wow dada Guruji rockS!!!!!! What a beautiful answer for who is a perfectionist….. “one who accept all the imperfections around him”. Wow! Isn’t it also a fact that no person on this earth can be a perfectionist except Guruji?!
    Love
    Meghu

  15. NIKHIL GULATI

    Bhaya !

    Truly written you have immense understanding.

    Love u.

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