Though it is an old one, i couldn’t resist sharing it with all of you…

A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender asks him, “You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time.” The man replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada and I’m here in London. When they left home, we promised that we’ll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.”
I had it sitting in my inbox for some days and when i read it, i broke laughing…well almost. Had to share it with all of u.

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there. The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn. One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss.”

The man looked confused for a moment, then he laughs…. “Oh, no,” he, said, “Everyone’s fine - both my brothers are alive”. The only thing is I just quit drinking…!!!

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Santa goes to a library and asks for a book “Psycho the rapist”. The librarian searches for a long time, comes back and slaps Santa and says “Idiot the book is called ‘PsychoTherapist’ ”

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One morning at a doctor’s clinic, a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him “OK, what happened to your back?”

The patient replies “You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, that’s how I strained my back”

The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said “My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?”

He replied, “You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won’t believe it but I was hit by a fridge.”

The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked.
Again asks, “What the hell happened to youuuuuu…?”

“Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor!”

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Barbara Walters, of Television’s 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul Afghanistan several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Ms. Walters’ vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women walk even further back behind their husbands, and seem appear happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms . Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, ‘Why do you continue with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?’ The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, ” Land Mines ! ”

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On a long haul Emirates flight, a mother took her young son to the toilet and told him she would come back for him, in five minutes.

However, he was finished in two minutes so he left the toilet and wandered off down the aisle, in the opposite direction from where his mother was.

Meanwhile, a businessman entered the toilet and locked the door.

After the five minutes were up, the mother knocked on the door and called out, “Do you need any help with the zipper?”

From behind the door, a startled male voice said, “Good God !! That’s what I call service!!!!!”

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A Sardar furniture dealer decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a new range of furniture that he thought would sell well back home in India .

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a pub and have a glass of wine.

As he sat down enjoying his wine, soon enough, a very beautiful attractive young lady came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned towards the chair.

He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in Hindi, Punjabi & English, but she did not speak or know any of these languages. So, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a
napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it her.

She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.

They left the pub and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.

She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Then, after they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a bed.

…….. ………… …….. Would you believe it..
….!!!

Till this day, the Sardar has no idea how she figured out that he was in the furniture business

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Taking off from the previous post on Ideas and Entrepreneurship which has been the most read and most liked till now, I continue in this post about documenting ideas. Ideas usually pound me during Kriya, or while taking a shower and am sure that each one of us have places when we can listen to the ideas through the mind which are been showered on us.  Ideas, which are a surreal mix of fact and fantasy. Jotting down both the most implementable and the most bizarre ideas each day can unearth the potential of the human mind.  Can reveal our interests and can make fantasies into science inventions.

There were so many people who gave me these ideas of jotting down ideas. Here is the list. You can select your favorite
1)    While you are enjoying a hot shower, as soon as a lightening of an idea strikes, quickly jot it on the mirror. If there is no mirror, am sure there is one in the bedroom. You gotta be quick.
2)    In a bus, on road whenever you are trampled with ideas, do a Ghajini. Put the writable surface of the body to optimum use.
3)    If during sleep they enter the solace of your bedroom, just shout it out aloud. Someone will tell you what you spoke in the morning. This was my mom’s way of asking for diamonds from my dad.
4)    Ideas also are cooked during cooking time. Quickly scribble it on the cake with the cream, or on the pizza with the toppings. They make a good innovative decoration too.
5)    If they set foot in a classroom ask it out to the professor, there will be lots of inputs from fellow colleagues as well. If the professor is not as creative as you, he will throw you from the class. Just what you wanted, happens.
6)    If in a toilet it pours on you, then you have walls and the poop. Make a scoop of the poop.
7)    While studying when they pound you, what do you do? Obviously scribble them onto your notepad. You have to fill them with something, to not feel guilty

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Srikant send me this joke while chatting with him. Laughed and laughed over it. Here it is …

An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband, “I just let out a silent fart.What do you think should I do?”

He replies “I guess you need to put a new baterry in your hearing aid.”

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A preacher visiting his flock in the country happens to see a pig walking around on 3 legs. The preacher stopped by and asked the farmer.

My son, what’s with your pig with only 3 legs? Well, preacher says the farmer, this pig is very special to my family and me, well just 2 months ago, I’m working underneath my tractor, the jack fell and the tractor was crushing me.

I yelled and my pig rushed to my rescue, dug me out and pulled me away from the tractor.Well that’s very commendable says the preacher..but..That’s not all preacher, last week my house caught fire and my pig pulled my 2 young daughters to safety. It even received a hero gold ribbon, from the village mayor.I understand says the preacher, but that still doesn’t explain the missing leg!

Well, like I said preacher, this pig is very special to my family and well, we just cannot bring ourselves to eat it all at once

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